Billion Dollar Ballpen

Heard this on the radio. Whether it's a joke or not, it's really funny.

Back in the Cold War era, when the American astronauts went to space, they discovered that they cannot use ballpens in zero gravity. So the American government funded a research to remedy the problem. Billions of dollars later, NASA finally came up with a ballpen that works in zero gravity, in extreme heat and cold, and even under water.

The Russians came up with a simpler solution. They used pencil.
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Viva Che

Many will call me an adventurer -- and that I am, only one of a different sort: one of those who risks his skin to prove his platitudes.

Che Guevara
(1928-1967)

Ingmar Bergman (1918-2007)

Red Button

MeRoadTrip 1: Vigan

May 2007. Went to Vigan. 3 of us. Forgot the details. Let's make it simple.

Day 1: Drive. Car stereo: Yoyoy Villame and Fred Panopio. Manila to Pampanga. Late night. Sisig dinner at most popular sisigan where it was said to be invented. Forgot the name. Something something. Drive...

Day 2: Early morning. Going to Pangasinan. I drive, they sleep. Friends wake up: let's go to Baguio. Right turn. American breakfast at Camp John Hay, Baguio. Temperature: ok. Now, to Vigan. Vegetarian lunch in Pangasinan. Temperature: sizzling. Now, to Vigan. I sleep, they drive. Car stereo: Depeche Mode. Late afternoon. Traffic in Vigan. Fiesta something something. Check-in hotel. Move around. Tasted the popular empanada. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Chicken dinner. Vigan night life. Two new female friends from Manila. College students. Friend scares them off after one beer. Oh well, zzzzz...

Day 3: Good morning, Vigan. Bought tobacco, bagnet, and green grapes. Drive. Further north. Target: Pagudpod. Still driving. Map check: too far. Reality check: too far. U-turn. Seafood lunch and beach and Korean girls in La Union. Swim, swim, swim. Pictures, pictures, pictures. Rains. Drive. Cholesterol dinner in Pangasinan. Drive. Car stereo: Depeche Mode (again!). Manila. Late night burgers with drag queens walking around. It's good to be back.

Day 4: Zzzzz...

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Bad Girl

Nuclear Tomato

Make A GLOWING TOMATO ! - video powered by Metacafe

Jedi 101

Embarassing Things That Might Happen To You While Using A Lightsaber:

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You turn it on while holding it backwards.

You make that sharp crackling noise with your mouth each time you clash it with your opponent's lightsaber—having forgotten that the noise happens naturally.

You've given in to the Dark Side of the Force, so the beam is normally red. But you forget to replace the weak batteries in the thing, rendering it pink, and turning you into the laughingstock of the Empire.

You try to use it to cut your birthday cake, expecting the lightsaber to slice through the pastry as easily as it did Luke's hand. Instead, the cake vaporizes the instant the lightsaber touches it, à la Obi-Wan.

You mistake it for a Popsicle.

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Article by Patrick Cassels
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Livestrong

The answer is hard work.

On Christmas day, what are you doing?

On January 1, where are you?

Riding my bike?

Absolutely!
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Lance Armstrong

7-time Tour de France Champion

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International Anthem

And now the end is near. And so I face the final curtain. My friend, I'll say it clear. I'll state my case of which I'm certain. I've lived a life that's full. I've travelled each and every highway. And more, much more than this. I did it my way. Regrets, I've had a few. But then again, too few to mention. I did what I had to do. And saw it through without exemption. I planned each chartered course. Each careful step along the by-way. And more, much more than this. I did it my way. Yes, there were times. I'm sure you knew. When I bit off more than I could chew. But through it all when there was doubt. I ate it up and spit it out. I faced it all. And I stood tall. And did it my way. I've loved, I've laughed, and cried. I've had my fill, my share of losing. And now, as tears subside. I find it all so amusing. To think I did all that. And may I say, not in a shy way. Oh no, oh no, not me. I did it my way. For what is a man, what has he got? If not himself then he has naught. To say the things he truly feels. And not the words of one who kneels. The record shows. I took the blows. And did it my way. Yes, it was my way.
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Love Versus Wong Kar Wai

Requited love is an impossibility.
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You will fall in love only once. Obstacles will prevail. The rest of your life is spent recovering.
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Eroticising their possessions will be the pinnacle of your sexual fulfilment.
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Anything that distracts you from the pain of your loss is good. Some people are more successful in this regard than others.
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Hook up with someone. Live with them. Sleep with them. Tag along. Don't be fooled. You are only a transitory distraction. Ask for commitment. Declare your love. Watch the set up evaporate.
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The most potent way to exist is to occupy someone else's imagination.
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Desire is kept eternally alive by the impossibility of contact.
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Modern communication enabling technologies will only heighten your sense of desolation by making you more keenly aware of the fact that no one is trying to call.

Original title:

Things Wong Kar-wai Taught Me About Love

by

Alice Dallow
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Alone Again, Naturally

In a little while from now

If I'm not feeling any less sour
I promise myself to treat myself

And visit a nearby tower

And climbing to the top, will throw myself off

In an effort to make it clear to who

Ever what it's like when you're shattered

Left standing in the lurch at a church

Where people saying: My God, that's tough.

She's stood him up

No point in us remaining

We may as well go home

As I did on my own

Alone again, naturally

To think that only yesterday

I was cheerful, bright, and gay

Looking forward to who wouldn't do

The role I was about to play

But as if to knock me down

Reality came around

And without so much, as a mere touch

Cut me into little pieces

Leaving me to doubt

Talk about God and his mercy

For if He really does exist

Why did He desert me in my hour of need

I truly am indeed alone again, naturally

It seems to me that there are more hearts
Broken in the world that can't be mended

Left unattended

What do we do? What do we do?

Alone again, naturally

Now looking back over the years

And whatever else that appears

I remember I cried when my father died

Never wishing to hide the tears

And at sixty-five years old

My mother, God rest her soul

Couldn't understand why the only man

She had ever loved had been taken

Leaving her to start with a heart so badly broken

Despite encouragement from me

No words were ever spoken

And when she passed away

I cried and cried all day

Alone again, naturally

Alone again, naturally

by

Gilbert O'Sullivan
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Cologniac by Gratuity

I wonder what's in your room. Your dresser, I mean. The personal stuff. Me? Here are my usual essentials:

Cotton, tissue (micro embossed), isopropyl alcohol (70% solution), visine refresh (blue), omega pain killer liniment,
vorwerk chilli brand porous capsicum plaster (expiry date december 2010), cherry chap stick lip balm (sunscreen SPF4), povidone iodine antiseptic 10% solution (for external use only), aceite manzanilla, stabilized chlorine dioxide mouth rinse (maximum protection), breath spray (alcohol free/non aerosol/fresh mint), polo sport deodorant (alcohol free), toothpaste (vitamin fluoride system), 1 box band-aid plastic strips, camphor menthol eucalyptus oil aka vicks vaporub, vitamins a, b complex, c, d, and e, valda pastilles menthol, sugar-free strepsils, white flower, and more.

I also have a small collection of colognes. Never bought one though. An accumulation through years of receiving gifts from family, friends, and ex's. When I was in elementary and high school, we had a seemingly endless supply of Brute and Old Spice coming from relatives in the US. Though I have already given away a few and some I have loved and over used till olfactory overload (like Drakkar and Cool Waters), I still have a few left:

Cumbia Colors by The United Colors of Benetton
Fendi
Fahrenheit by Christian Dior (2 bottles)
XS by Paco Rabanne
Grey Flannel by Geoffrey Beene
Lacoste
Boss by Hugo Boss
and
Givenchy Gentleman

So there.
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MeCinema (Episode 2)

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Further Thoughts
from a
Furthering Filmmaker:
.

Be clear about the general idea or story but don't force details. Script and storyboard are flexible, dispensable, and even unnecessary. Discover and create along the way. Improvise, experiment, and break the rules. Question your standards. Challenge your limitations, limitations are challenges. There is always more than one way of shooting a scene. Exploit camera composition and movement. Master cinematic elements and techniques. Film is audio-visual as well as story telling. Exploit suspension of disbelief. Never aim for realism. The director is both master and servant of the film. The director should be a student and expert of everything. Study great directors but develop own style. Aim for depth, intelligence, sophistication, maturity, perfection, and not entertainment. Never think of or please the audience. Avoid cliches, formula, deus ex machina, the normal, the typical, the usual, the expected. A director does not need to explain himself. Directing is decision making. The goal is self-satisfaction. Film has a life of its own, let the film be. Film is not just about the output but the whole filmmaking process. A film has various meanings, symbolisms, and significance to both its creators and audience. A good film creates more questions than answers. Don't control the film, let it control you.
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The Best Job In The World

I once asked Akira Kurosawa why he had chosen to frame a shot in Ran in a particular way. His answer was that if he'd panned the camera one inch to the left, the Sony factory would be sitting there exposed, and if he'd panned an inch to the right, we would see the airport-- neither of which belonged in a period movie. Only the person who's made the movie knows what goes into the decisions that result in any piece of work. They can be anything from budget requirements to divine inspiration...

There's no right or wrong way to direct a movie. What I'm writing about is how I work. For students, take it all; take what you want and throw the rest away; or throw it all away... It's a complex technical and emotional process. It's art. It's commerce. It's heartbreaking and it's fun. It's a great way to live.

Sidney Lumet

Making Movies
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Texxxt Rated

I'm sure you've received controversial text messages. Ones which shocked, depressed, angered, surprised, confused, or just plain caught you off-guard. Well, I archive those I get. Let me share them to you (real names witheld of course). I won't give any background explanation anymore. Some are plain enough. As to the rest, use your imagination.

Ms Singer: "Can you keep a secret? Do you know how much I wanted to kill myself? Please don't let anyone know. And please don't ask me why... Good night." (Aug 6, 2007 1:01am)

Mr Funny: "___, automatic naman siguro na sa heaven punta nung bata di ba? 9 years old yun eh... Para panatag loob ko." (Jul 16, 2007 12:19pm)

Mr Quiet: "___ was complaining of abdominal discomfort the past few days but the doctor said sa cough daw iyon. Kagabi he had convulsions then he slowly lost consciousness." (Jul 16, 2007 10:24am)

Ms Teacher: "Allegedly, she hanged herself. Battered wife, left a 5 year old daughter." (Jul 15 2007 10:02pm)

Mr Businessman: "I am so disenchanted with today's church. It has lost its distinctiveness. It's no different from a business establishment." (Jun 13, 2007 12:46am)

Mr Photographer: "May mga kwento kasi tipong night of the living dead sa road batween Pililia and Pakil kaya careful si ___." (Jun 10, 2007 9:01pm)

Mr Relative: "Ok I will visit ___. You know me, palagi ako tumutulong. Your ___ knows it. But they betrayed me. Pero no problem. Jesus knows." (Jun 8, 2007 8:25pm)

Ms Actress: "I'd be too curious to say no." (Jun 7, 2007 9:29pm)

Mr Lawyer: "Ako galing hirap na nagsusumikap umayos ang buhay, ung iba mahirap ganun dahil tamad at walang modo." (May 6, 2007 1:44pm)

Mr Artist: "From ___: I will be working for ___ ___ PR arm. My cousin works for ___ ___, the wife of ___. She confided to my cousin: ___ is GAY. Marriage for convenience lang." (Apr 2, 2007 10:01am)

Mr Boyfriend: "Stop texting ___ already." (Feb 26, 2007 7:05pm)

Ms Love: "Hiniwalayan ako... wala pang one month may sweetie na sya. Sabi niya di pa sila... magulo raw isip nya kung ano gagawin daw nya... Tapos may nangyayari pa rin sa amin... 4x na. Tapos ganito... Hay." (Feb 1, 2007 5:11pm)

Mr Stand-up: "Who the heck is ___ what's his face? Frankly, I find these quotes a waste of my time." (Jan 29, 2007 9:55pm)

Ms Cute: "Nagka crush ako sa yo nung lagi mo ko text and call." (Jan 23, 2007 7:05pm)

Mr Classmate: "I'm losing my faith in God." (Dec 26, 2006 8:53pm)

Ms Model: "I'm not coming back." (Dec 8, 2006 10:20pm)

Mr Band: "___ ___ passed away na. Will let you know the details as soon as I have them." (Dec 8, 2006 9:33am)

Mr Elder: "Siya nga yung disciplinary case, from a reliable source. More than once have undergone disciplinary action. Victim is youth. Confidential muna between us." (Nov 26, 2006 6:03pm)

Mr Colleague: "Please pray for ___, he's in the ICU since yesterday pa. (from Wife)." (Nov 19, 2006 9:08pm)

Mr Angry: "I don't like repeating myself so consider this your last warning... lose my number! Another thing, if you see me stay out of my way." (Aug 5, 2006 2:17pm)

Ms TV: "Patay na daddy ko, pagdasal mo mahuli yung bumaril sa kanya." (Apr 17, 2006 6:16am)

Ms Pretty: "I tried to commit suicide." (Feb 7, 2006 5:51pm)

Ms Abroad: "I watched my debut video the other day nga, na iyak ako." (Apr 25, 2005 12:21pm)

Ms Innocent: "Withdraw tapos gumamit din siya ng condom. Ano ka ba di me preggy." (Mar 29, 2005 12:39am)

Of course I also receive happy, funny, positive, and encouraging texts. But why share them? The ones above are much much more intriguing. Misery loves company.
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Old Manila

Bogie and Bacall

Humphrey Bogart

and

Lauren Bacall

.

Maybe

they're just

really

really

very

very

good

friends

Oh never mind!!!

.

Oh My!

Some things are better left unsaid...
Some things are better seen than said...
Some things are...

Oh enough said!

One thing is certain.
They surely don't make stars the way they used to.
Oh my!

(gasps)
LAUREN BACALL
(b. 1924)

MeCinema (Episode 1)

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Random Thoughts

from a

Random Filmmaker:

Art is spontaneous. Outbursts of genius. Art is mood and emotions not necessarily logic and reason. Art is for all but not by all. Ignore copyright. Art is beyond but not above. It is the familiar other. Only artists and intellectuals could verify other artists and their works. Audience and fans are accidents of history. Art expressed is an end in itself. Art is struggle. Art is meaning. Art is creation and destruction. Art is spiritual. Art is sacred. Art is worship. Art is human. Art is perfection. Art is life and death.
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Don't Smoke In Bed

I

left

a

note

on
his

dresser

And

my

old

wedding

ring

With

these

few

goodbye

words

How

can
I

sing

Goodbye

old

sleepy

head

I'm

packing

you

in

like

I

said

Take

care

of

everything

I'm

leaving

my

wedding

ring

Don't

look
for

me

I'll

get

ahead

Remember

darling

Don't

smoke

in

bed

.

.

.

Nina

Simone

(1933 - 2003)

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Don't Cry Daddy

Song by: Elvis Presley

Recorded: 1969

.

.

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Today I stumbled from my bed
With thunder crashing in my head
And my pillow still wet
From last night's tears
And as I think of giving up
A voice inside my coffee-cup
Kept crying out
Ringing in my ears

Don't cry daddy
Daddy, please don't cry
Daddy, you still got me, little Tommy
Together we'll find a brand new mommy
Daddy, daddy, please laugh again
Daddy ride us on your back again
Oh, daddy, please don't cry

Why are children always first
To feel the pain and hurt the worst
It's cruel, somehow

It just don't seem right
'Cause ev'ry time I cry I know
It hurts my little children so
And I wonder will it be the same tonight

Don't cry daddy
Daddy, please don't cry
Daddy, you still got me, little Tommy
Together we'll find a brand new mommy
Daddy, daddy, please laugh again
Daddy ride us on your back again
Oh, daddy, please don't cry
Oh, daddy, please don't cry
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Cinema Tarantino

Philippine Star:

"Any advice for aspiring young Filipino filmmakers?"

Quentin Tarantino:

"Come up with a story that you want to tell, that you have to tell, and tell it well."

(Manila, August 2007)

MeFather: 007

Since my father died, everyday since, I always think of him. Strangely, I always dream about him. Almost every night. Tonight and tomorrow night and the next tomorrow for sure. Tomorrow never dies. Can't help it, I failed my father. I was a disappointment to him. When I quit UP Law school back in 1997, I know it blew the living daylights out of him. Though he kept it to himself. He had very high goldfinger hopes for me. Something I didn't understand before and wanted no part of. It's his dreams not mine, I said in proud and ungrateful defiance. Fool. Now I understand. I wish I hadn't... I wish I did this and that... Too late boy. The spy who loved me is forever gone. I don't think I will ever forgive myself. He was a good father, not perfect, he had his faults typical of any flawed human being and we had our major differences and arguments common to most macho father-and-son bond but inspite of it all, he was, now I realize... a great father. After the thunderball cleared, he was right. He was right. But the gentleman is no longer around. I miss him. Should I just live and let die? I'd give up everything to be with him once more and die another day.
WRVC (1945-2004)
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Sleeping Sand, Silent Cloud

Half of what I say is meaningless
But I say it just to reach you

Julia

Julia

Julia

Oceanchild

Calls me

So I sing a song of love

Julia

Julia

Seashell eyes

Windy smile

Calls me

So I sing a song of love

Julia

Her hair of floating sky is shimmering

Glimmering

In the sun

Julia

Julia

Morning moon

Touch me

So I sing a song of love

Julia

When I cannot sing my heart

I can only speak my mind

Julia

Julia

Sleeping sand

Silent cloud

Touch me

So I sing a song of love

Julia

Hmm...

Calls me

So I sing a song of love

For Julia

Julia

Julia

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Filmmaker Questions Theologian

February 14, 2006 (9:16pm)
Q: Is it okay to pray before sex?
A: Why not? As long as it does not affect your erection.

May 3, 2006 (3:44pm)
Q: Can I blame the devil for tempting me to do evil?
A: I don't know whether there is a devil or not. The burden of moral responsibility rests on you and me. Demonyo talaga!

August 1, 2006 (3:41pm)
Q: Is it immoral to make a film that has nudity?
A: If the audience focuses on the boobs of the actress, consider your film a success.

October 21, 2006 (12:38pm)
Q: Should I continue making films, even though I haven't been successful commercially?
A: Pag di benta, meron tayo pasikat sa langit. Astig!

October 21, 2006 (1:25pm)
Q: How come it's so hard to find an ideal partner?
A: Tough world, not easily yielding to our ideals. Tulad mo, di ka makakita artistahin na marunong pa. Sabi sa iyo kuha ka ng bobo, sexy, at paaalipin sa iyo.

November 23, 2006 (5:34am)
Q: Should I continue to be a filmmaker or become a prophet instead?
A: Kaya di ka makakuha job, kung anu ano pumapasok sa ulo mo. Of course may prophetic role ang mahuhusay na films kahit mockumentary.

December 16, 2006 (10:03pm)
Q: Should we pray for miracles?
A: I believe in prayer. And occassional miracles. The rest is up to us. He he.

March 5, 2007 (4:38pm)
Q: If you were to write a book, what would it be about?
A: Title ko: "Can Baptists Really Make Love: Theology, Repression, and Sex."

May 22, 2007 (4:25pm)
Q: How come people repeat the same mistakes?
A: Self-afflicted pain is at times easier to allow than to avoid. How ironic!

June 8, 2007 (8:12pm)
Q: Is levitation a manifestation of demonic power?
A: Don't do it. Baka malula ka. Mauntog ka pa.

June 12, 2007 (11:48am)
Q: Do you think theologians have become irrelevant because ordinary people can't relate to them?
A: Who cares if many can't relate? Ganyan ang scholar, we're not here to please anyone.
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Pure Imagination

Hold your breath.
Make a wish.
Now count to three.

Come with me and you'll be in a world of pure imagination.
Take a look and you'll see into your imagination.
We'll begin with a spin traveling in the world of my creation.
What we'll see will defy explanation.

If you want to view paradise, simply look around and view it. Anything you want to, do it. You want to change the world? There's nothing to it.

There is no life I know to compare with pure imagination.
Living there you'll be free if you truly want to be.

Take me by the hand. Let us run to the little little little little little funnyland.

(Lou Rawls song. From the 1971 film, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.)
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