The Price of Art

.
Ali G
.

.
Borat
.

.
Bruno
.

.
and
Sacha Baron Cohen
as
all of the above
.

"The first prerogative of an artist in any medium
is to make a fool of himself."
Pauline Kael
.

Farewell My President

"I thank God for making me a Filipino.
And I thank everyone for making me one of you."
.
Cory Aquino
(1933-2009)
.

Who Wants to Live Forever?

I am Connor MacLeod of the Clan MacLeod.
I was born in 1518 in the village of Glenfinnan
on the shores of Loch Shiel.
And I am immortal.

Connor Macleod
(Christopher Lambert)

.

Messy Spirituality

"We are told that when Jesus comes into your life he takes all the disparities, all the odd ups-and-downs of life, all your struggles, and gives you balance. That's baloney -- it's a lie. I think Jesus makes our lives lopsided and crazy."

Mike Yaconelli
.

Divine Sadness

"God did not create anything more beautiful than sadness."
.
Forugh Farrokhzad
(1935-1967)
.

20 Years of Lunacy

We choose to go to the moon and do the other things,
not because they are easy, but because they are hard.

John F. Kennedy
Rice University, Houston, Texas
September 1962
.

The Fog of War

"I want to say, and this is very important: at the end we lucked out. It was luck that prevented nuclear war. We came that close to nuclear war at the end. Rational individuals: Kennedy was rational; Khrushchev was rational; Castro was rational. Rational individuals came that close to total destruction of their societies. And that danger exists today."

Robert McNamara
(1916-2009)
.

When You're A Man

When you're a man,
sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room
just for fun.

Jack Black
Nacho Libre

Pop Star

Nihilism is best done by professionals.
Iggy Pop
.

Amazing Grace

I wasn't born this way.
One creates oneself.
I believe whatever I dream.
Whatever I dream,
I want to do.

Grace Jones
.

Remembering Francis

Francis Magalona
(October 4, 1964 - March 6, 2009)
.

Goodbye Michael

Michael Jackson
(August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009)

Goodbye Angel

Farrah Fawcett
(February 2, 1947 - June 25, 2009)
.

Theological Balance

Pray
as if everything depended on
God.

Work
as if everything depended on
you.

Kite Poetry

Tatlong bagay

ang aking natutunan.

Ang pag-asa

ay walang hanggan,

ang pag-ibig

ay walang hadlang,

at lilipad ang saranggola

sa ulan.

Gary Granada

Liberation Theology

The poor person does not exist as an inescapable fact of destiny. His or her existence is not politically neutral, and it is not ethically innocent. The poor are a by-product of the system in which we live and for which we are responsible. They are marginalized by our social and cultural world. They are the oppressed, exploited proletariat, robbed of the fruit of their labor and despoiled of their humanity. Hence the poverty of the poor is not a call to generous relief action, but a demand that we go and build a different social order.

Gustavo Gutierrez
.

Hollywood Ambitions

"If you're really serious about breaking in, start at the bottom." (Susan Beavers, Writer/Producer)

"It really boils down to a combination of things: a good resume, some contacts, the willingness to do the work, and qualities that set you apart from the pack." (Bruce Berman, CEO, Village Roadshow)

"If you have a point of view, and you have the ability to articulate that point of view, you have a good chance of breaking in." (Roger Birnbaum, CEO, Spyglass Entertainment)

"If they tell you you're no good, don't believe them." (Erika Christensen, Actor)

"Hollywood is always looking for people who aren't afraid of twenty-hour days." (Roger Corman, Producer/Director)

"Do everything in your power to make it happen, but be realistic." (Charles Dutton, Actor/Director/Producer)

"Good luck is when you get an opportunity and you've done all the hard work and everything comes together." (Jack Epps Jr., Writer)

"If there's one thing you need to understand about show business, it's that it is mostly about rejection, and that you're going to need a great deal of stamina to survive." (David Frankel, Writer/Director)

"Don't wait for Hollywood to give you something, because it generally doesn't happen that way." (Eva Gardos, Editor/Director)

"Try to figure out what you're doing wrong, and stop doing it wrong." (Alan Gasmer, Agent, William Morris Agency)

"The people who are enthusiastic, who give it everything they've got, who work hard to solve problems and are 100 percent committed to the job -- these are the people who will succeed." (Gale Anne Hurd, Producer)

"You need to work harder than the next man, trust your gut, and pick the right projects." (Jay Kanter, Agent/Producer/Studio Executive)

"When you have passion, there's no stopping you." (Sally Kellerman, Actor/Singer)

"Learn from the masters: watch as many old movies as you can." (John Landis, Writer/Director)

"The key is not to be frightened off by the surprises life throws at you." (Michael London, Producer)

"That's key: an almost crazy amount of self-confidence. Without it, you're doomed." (Caryn Mandabach, Producer)

"The one component that connects all successful people, here and elsewhere, in any endeavor, is that none of them ever quit." (Todd Robinson, Writer/Producer)

"Study everything. Get to know everything... And practice practice practice." (Lalo Schifrin, Composer)

"You have to want this -- writing, acting, directing -- more than anything else in the world, because there really is no rhyme or reason for success in this business. The more you know, the less you know." (William A. Schwartz, Writer/Producer)

"I think that's what it's all about: the willingness to do it. I had made a decision to achieve my goals by any means necessary, and that's what it takes." (Kevin Rodney Sullivan, Writer/Director)

How I Broke Into Hollywood
(Success Stories from the Trenches)
Pablo Fenjves and Rocky Lang

.

Darth Water

No Country for Old Men

"I always figured when I got older,
God would sorta come into my life somehow. And he didn't. I don't
blame him. If I
was him I would have the same opinion of me
that he does."

Ed Tom Bell
(Tommy Lee Jones)

A Killer Life

Chapter 1: Getting Used to the Dark
Lesson: Make yourself necessary.

Chapter 2: Target Practice
Lesson: Make the right enemies.

Chapter 3: Unreleasable
Lesson: Talent can come from anywhere.

Chapter 4: Pitching, Buying, Begging, Stalking
Lesson: At the Cannes Film Festival, everybody's a prostitute.

Chapter 5: Crashes and Burns
Lesson: Learn to walk away.

Chapter 6: All That Heaven Allows
Lesson: If you've got to screw up, do it for the right reasons.

Chapter 7: Dylan in Turnaround
Lesson: Act like it's happening until somebody tells you otherwise.

Chapter 8: Locking Picture
Lesson: The best films don't come from compromise.
They come from collaboration.

Chapter 9: A Tale of Two Trumans

"A Killer Life"
(How an Independent Film Producer Survives Deals and Disasters in Hollywood and Beyond)
Christine Vachon
2006

The Kiss

And there it was,
a kiss.
And oh, what lies there are in kisses!

Shortcut to Happiness

History Lesson 2

The Duet

In 1960, Frank Sinatra welcomed Elvis Presley home from the army in a televised "Frank Sinatra Show" special. Together for the first time, and for the last time, the two legends performed together. The two will have other meetings after this, but this event will never be repeated nor equalled. Sinatra sang Elvis' "Love Me Tender", Presley sang Frank's "Witchcraft". Television history in black and white.
.

Gentle On My Mind

It's knowin' that your door is always open

And your path is free to walk
That makes me tend to leave my sleepin' bag
Rolled up and stashed behind your couch
And it's knowin' I'm not shackled
By forgotten words and bonds
And the ink stains that have dried upon some line
That keeps you in the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
That keeps you ever gentle on my mind

Though the wheat fields and the clothes lines
And the junkyards and the highways come between us
And some other woman's cryin' to her mother
'cause she turned and I was gone
I still might run in silence
Tears of joy might stain my face
And the summer sun might burn me till I'm blind
But not to where I cannot see
You walkin' on the back roads
By the rivers flowin' gentle on my mind

I dip my cup of soup back from a gurglin' cracklin' cauldron
In some train yard
My beard a rustlin' coal pile
And a dirty hat pulled low across my face
Through cupped hands 'round a tin can
I pretend to hold you to my breast and find
That you're waitin' from the back roads
By the rivers of my memory
Ever smilin', ever gentle on my mind

Glen Campbell

Think Different

Here's to the crazy ones.
The misfits.
The rebels.
The troublemakers.
The round pegs in the square holes.
The ones who see things differently.
They're not fond of rules.
And they have no respect for the status quo.
You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them.
About the only thing you can't do is ignore them.
Because they change things.
They push the human race forward.
And while some may see them as the crazy ones,
We see genius.
Because the people who are crazy enough to think
they can change the world,
Are the ones who do.

Think Different
Apple Commercial

Starred Trek

History Lesson

No One Knows

She pins a poppy in her hair

That none may know her deep despair
She’ll dance till dawn on tingling toes
And no one knows
And no one knows

She jingles jewels just like a bell
To hide the grief she knows so well
Her worldly ways are just a pose
And no one knows
And no one knows

And no one knows
Why she goes for a walk in the rain
And no one cares
And no one shares
Her heart filled with pain

She dreams he’s holding her so tight
And reaches for him in the night
She greets a ghost each place she goes
And no one knows
And no one knows

Jerry Vale
(Jerry Vale Greatest Hits)

The Final Far Side

Here are the cartoons taken from my final six months of newspaper syndication, plus 13 new cartoons I drew since I retired (more about that on page 81). Mingled with these are a few other cartoons that were never published in a Far Side book. (I know there are three guys out there who are tracking this stuff.)

But Last Chapter and Worse, I should hasten to add, is not necessarily my last "gasp" in the cartooning world. The Call of the Vial (of ink) still speaks to me, and the thought of creating more mischief -- somewhere, sometime -- still rumbles in the reptilian complex of my brain. (For you non-biology types, we've all got that -- it ain't just me.)

My profound thanks to all of you who have shared my sense of humor while forgiving my foibles. If I managed to give you a few laughs or smiles or gag reflexes along the way, you've given me a wonderful and completely unforeseen career.

I hope to see you again one day.

Gary Larson
Last Chapter and Worse
(A Far Side Collection)
.

Watching Werner

Film is not analysis, it is the agitation of mind; cinema comes from the country fair and the circus, not from art and academicism.

You should look straight at a film; that's the only way to see one. Film is not the art of scholars but of illiterates.

Someone like Jean-Luc Godard is for me intellectual counterfeit money when compared to a good Kung Fu film.

Werner Herzog
Director

Corleone's Creed

I spent my life trying not to be careless. Women and children can be careless but not men... I don't apologize for taking care of my family. And I refused to be a fool dancing on the strings held by all those big shots. That's my life, I don't apologize for that.

Don Vito Corleone
(Marlon Brando)

Weddings, Funerals, and True Love

"Maybe
waiting
for
one true love
gets
in
the
way."

Hugh Grant

Four
Weddings
and
A
Funeral

Ascetic Wisdom

The
contemplative life
must not be construed
as an escape
from social responsibility
and from the life of sense,
but rather,
as a confrontation
with poverty and the void,
a renunciation of the empirical self,
in the presence of death,
and nothingness,
in order to overcome
the ignorance and error
that spring from the
fear
of being nothing.

Thomas Merton
(1915-1968)

Grandpa Pablo

Whether they were
women, friends, children,
or grandchildren,
his victims
had to be
sacrificed
to his art.
He was Picasso.
He was a genius.
A genius shows no mercy.
His glory depends on it.

Picasso: My Grandfather
by
Marina Picasso

Killed Bill

David Carradine
(1936-2009)

Kwai Chang Caine aka Grasshopper
in
"Kung Fu"
(1972-1975)

Bill
in
"Kill Bill 1 & 2"
(2003-2004)